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Spontaneous conversations and chance encounters. Are these merely relics of the past? Do you feel disconnected from others because the remote work life, with endless online meetings has changed the way you are able to connect? Chance meetings and unplanned interactions are becoming less and less common, especially at work. Even though we are slowly returning to office spaces, the confidence and ability of many to connect spontaneously is a challenge and the fear of having to speak with someone about an unknown topic paralyses them.

As we all know, the pandemic had a huge impact on the way we work and many of us still work remotely in the comfort (or discomfort) of our own homes. We work for international companies and have colleagues in all corners of the world. There are endless, planned online meetings and most interactions between colleagues, who are virtual strangers, are scheduled and highly structured. English isn’t the first language of everyone either and misunderstandings, miscommunications and impatience can sometimes erode the sense of well-being of some team members. There are less opportunities to experience those casual, sometimes uncomfortable meetings where we suddenly found ourselves in conversation with people with whom we wouldn’t usually converse. 

These brief conversations over a cup of tea or coffee, at someone’s desk or on the way out of the building were often the source of surprising and interesting moments, not always good necessarily but not always bad either. Sometimes they had unexpected and remarkable outcomes, ideas were borne, feelings were shared. But working online has diminished the opportunity to get to know our colleagues outside of the screen. Feelings of impatience or judgement subside when we have connected with another human being, in person. It is harder to be dismissive or intolerant when we are communicating face to face, where we are immediately accountable for our actions, our body language and our expressions.

 It would seem that this ability to connect face to face spontaneously with people is a skill that is not worth losing. If you do find spontaneous interactions stressful, take small steps, you could try these.

1. Turn up to your online meeting a little early and switch your camera on and say hello.

2.  If you are already present and someone says hello! Respond to them, don’t just sit there in silence. 

3. If you are in the office, look up from your phone or computer occasionally, make eye contact.

4. Leave your phone for a few minutes on your desk and ask a colleague  about their day. 

You will be surprised how a small number of spontaneous interactions can improve your day and your sense of connection. So, if you get the chance to have a momentary chat with one of your colleagues online or off, make the effort to do it, it’s not a waste of time and will help greatly to build understanding, tolerance and believe it or not, well-being and productivity in the long run. Incidentally you may also be surprised to find out just how much you actually have in common.

Giselle Banks 

First Published September 20, 2021 by Giselle Banks

3 minute read

The stark reality is, that in this moment in time, especially in this global market, many businesses expect their team members and clients from diverse nationalities to communicate with each other hand with native speakers in English. Obviously, the native English speakers have an unfair advantage here in that, they don’t have to switch into another language in order to communicate their ideas, make an impact or be heard.  

'Post-Meeting Participation' 

A workplace trend, often discussed by my students is that, after a meeting in which there have been both native and non native speakers present, the non native speakers have a debrief meeting  in order to discuss what was covered in the meeting. It is in this safer space where the less confident can clarify, in a safe space, any misunderstandings or confusion without feeling self conscious or judged. Connections within the same group of colleagues are thus being made on 2 levels , between the native speakers and more confident of the non native speakers and between the non native speakers. 

Another way the more self conscious of the non-native speakers manage the pressure of meetings in English is via email. That is to say, they ask a question, clarify a point or share their input in a private e-mail directed to the convener of the meeting. In this way, they have the time to carefully compose their comments/ideas in written English. Both these solutions are good ways to manage the language barrier but in the long run will not take these highly qualified non-native English speaking professionals in the direction they could and should be heading in their careers.

The Courage to be Vulnerable

Confident communication in another language takes time and in many cases, forces you into situations where you are vulnerable, where you may not be able to express yourself with the same clarity that you would in your native tongue. Many of you who are reading this will have studied English since you were children, thus for you, it now comes with ease, and this may no longer apply to you. However, many of you have not. I am truly in awe of all of you. Learning a language is one thing, but conducting business and communicating appropriately in the different contexts presented to you on a daily basis: in meetings with colleagues, communication with clients, at the watercooler, at social/business events, is another. Unfortunately, you can’t directly translate what you want to say from your own language because it just doesn’t work. As we are all aware, speaking another language does not just involve the knowledge of vocabulary and grammar, you have to understand the culture, begin to think how they do in order to communicate in a way that you will be understood how you want to be. I have experienced this because I spent many years living and studying in Mexico. Prior to moving to Mexico I had studied Spanish as part of my University Degree. I knew the grammar, I could analyse complex literary texts and write in Spanish at a high level but it wasn’t until I moved to Mexico and lived the language for many years that I was also able to communicate the spoken word with clarity and without inhibition and with the confidence that I was actually being understood as 'me'. So, the pressure for people to learn and communicate in English on a daily basis in the workplace is a huge ask. However, many of you are now doing this whether you like it or not and whether you want to or not.

Commitment

For my part, I love teaching English as a foreign language. I love seeing the development in my students, their increased confidence  which leads them to being able to communicate freely and with ease. I love hearing their stories of having a greater impact at work. All this comes with a combination of consistent practice, determination, a willingness to make mistakes and the right mindset. If I can accompany you on your language learning journey, It would be my honour.